Alternatives and Substitutes

I have been very de-focussed off late. And I logically understand the reason.
I am impatient and irritable. Snappy and blunt. And I am not apologetic!
When one is basically attention-demanding,its very difficult to keep up with the pace of that, riding along waves of these demons.
You crave and demand the attention, but you don’t have the patience to wait for someone to give you that.
So, what you end up doing is search for alternate vents and substitute characters.
There are definite XYZs from who I demand(and obtain,in most times) attention! When they do not respond to my cries of desperation..I think I tend to begin my search. Life doesn’t stop,does it? :)

So,why am I writing this? Because I haven’t been able to successfully find alternatives and substitutes off late! Its like over-blowing a gas balloon till its seams. I am restless to vent out ..but really have nothing or no one to pour out too. Don’t read this wrongly as frustration. No,its definitely not that. It restlessness and inability to fathom and a failed attempt to believe that there is a world past your own needs and cravings. There is a world that moves on and fine without you. There is a world that does not listen to your silent(or maybe not!)cries of desperation..they hear it..but disregard it.
There is no definition of this ‘want’.
If I ask myself what it is..I will be blank..and will have no answers. Its not that I want to talk to someone,or be with something.
Perhaps I want assurance from the breeze that blows my hair,the wet earth the sticks to my feet when I walk bare-footed..the rain that splashes on my face..and makes me blink my eyes!
No..please..anyone reading this..however you might want to think its YOU I am referring to..be disappointed!
Just because I don’t have my facts together to understand what I am craving for and missing at this point in time, do not dare to take advantage..

PS: But if you decide to..I am just an sms away! :)