Sometimes people and objects become a part of your dependency schedule.
Sometimes,these objects do not matter in your life,but they are a dependency.
Sometimes few people who matter in your life are NOT dependencies..while others tend to become one.
My gardener. He does not matter in my life. But he is a dependency every 30th of the month,when he comes to collect his payments. I need to tell him in a broken Hindi ,with a few arbit Kannada words,how the plants in my terrace need a specific kind of handling. If I am not able to tell him this,and Raj still gives away his monthly dues,I loose sleep!! I depend on seeing him for a pleasant night's sleep,you see.
My tiffin box. It doesnt matter to me that I cant find it anymore. But I depend on its availability. It was a perfect box. Sized perfectly to carry my parathas and curries to work. Its unbelievable,that ever since I cannot find that ONE particular box,I have stopped carrying lunch. Absurd,I know...but its a dependency.
My mother. Matters to me,the most in this world. But I can live without being with her,talking to her and not thinking about her. Its not a dependency. On a similar context-Raj is both..matters to me as much as my mother,and fits like a glove into my dependency schedule!
There are some other things and people who have been taking up space in my mind off late. They do not matter to me but are becoming dependencies,slowly.
I like it this way,actually.It gives me fodder to think,and not keep myself idle. Gives me food to brood and contemplate. Allows me to smile to myself,on how absurd the patterns of the mind are. Makes me agree that the heart and the mind are such different battlefields. But I dont gear up as a warrior princess in such cases.Infact,I like to agree to a suggestion a friend had for me,once..(was perhaps quoted on a different context,but what the heck!!)
"Dont fight it. Give in.":)
Yeah..I remember the context..it was bittersweet chocolates! Now thats one more example-It matters to me. I hate it if I see someone eating it in front of me. I hate it when people say its stocked in their kitchens. I hate it when its not the same for me..and my kitchen is devoid of dark chocolates :(
I am dependant on it. I need it when I crave for it.
But..hey..dont read into this more. My "cravings'" are not my dependencies always!:) Bitter dark chocolate is just an exception.
I need to sign off now. This banter will become a limitless conversation,if not,and I might get into trouble!
Did I hear someone say.." You are already in trouble,baby! This plane has taken off!!" :) ?
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